Frosting, Oh frosting. Or icing, if you're that way inclined.

This is a short but fervent blog entry regarding butter icing, or "frosting" as those crazy cats in America put it. I guess it looks like snow, thus frosting. Or perhaps it sits on the top, like ah, frost does. As you can see I have done some fairly careful research.

I have a couple of great icing recipes, anyone who reads this blog knows that I tend to favour the good old lemon juice icing. It's a classic: timeless, white and pristinely drippy (fuck off spellcheck, pristinely may not be a word, but if Words with Friends can refuse "wize", then I rest my case. And I don't care that I mixed my metaphors and I also don't care that wize isn't actually a word).

Let's get back to frosting, let's leave nasty pedantic grammatical shit behind us and glide into the world of butter and icing sugar, beaten together to form the queen of the toppings. Gabe loves frosting - that is a given, what child doesn't like frosting? He likes cupcakes simply because of the frosting. He has lovingly and thoroughly licked frosting off all manner of cupcake. And then discarded the cupcake. Mothers the world over are nodding. It's one of the things that you let go off, the idea that your child will eat the whole cake. They won't, *whispering, reassuring voice* they won't.

Gabe and I made cupcakes about a week ago for a family gathering. I am often asked to make cupcakes because I am the unofficial "caterer to the children". In this family my Aunt takes care of the gluten free things, my sister in law takes care of the savoury nibble type things, my middle brother makes salad (no exceptions) and I bringeth the cupcakes.

yodel ay he hooo

Plain lemon icing 
It's this easy - take about 2 cups of icing and gradually add lemon juice till you get the consistency that you want. I like it really thick, so that it sets like the top of a snow covered mountain. But that's me - I'm a visual person.

I've made it like a bazillion times, and there are mundo pics on here of it, but it you need another... here 'tis...




Chocolate Frosting
100 grams of soft butter (you know how I roll here, microwave...)
4 cups of icing sugar (yes I know!)
1/2 cup of cocoa
1/4 cup milk

Sift the cocoa and the icing sugar until they are good friends. 

Beat the butter into submission, until its creamy and smooth and will do anything you want. Reprogram it and send it to the Pentagon as a sleeper agent, activate it and watch it destroy everyone ha ha ha HA HA HA!!!

Or add one cup of the sifted icing sugar/cocoa mix and beat until blended, do that again. Add a little milk, add another cup, and a little more milk. Then add that last cup and see what you got. Be CAREFUL with that milk, that shit is dynamite, so add it slowly. You are looking for light and fluffy and malleable, not wet and slow and USELESS.

I made two types of frosting the other day chocolate and plain. That was Gabe's choice, for him it don't matter if you're black or white. Anyhoo, I decided to pipe the white one (which incidentally is the same recipe as above but with no cocoa powder and EASY on the MILK) in a lovely big star pattern and the chocolate one in the lovely big plain pattern. Turns out that I should have reversed that.

Starry starry night..

Looks quite good doesn't it. I agree. However....

What does that look like...hmmm

It reminded me of something, something that wasn't delicious and chocolatey at all.. something else.... I just couldn't remember what it was....

I just can't think what it looks like....

I feel like I see it everyday, even handle it....

Ah, yes. Right.......

So yeah. Simple lesson. Brown piped icing of a particular consistency looks like a big old dog turd. Every single member of my family concur.

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