Well, you can't blame me for naming the post thusly, the number of trollop style jokes that fly around when you make tarts is disproportionately large. Clearly demand outstrips supply in the provision of tart related joke telling opportunities. Not sure how to exploit this for gain, but theoretically one could.
It's was the season to be merry folks and I made a few treats - full disclosure dictates that I need to put the treat making in the context of Book Club and also reference Sue and Michelle. Each year we gather on the Saturday morning before the final book club and we make treats for the group. This year marks the fourth year we have done this and we were as game as ever. And very organised, very, very organised. There is some fun lost when there's no panic - whilst we coasted politely to the denouement of the treat making it was nice, but not frightening and we didn't think that anything would fail. So, yes. Not very exciting. Clearly we have reached a pinnacle of some sort.
We made fudge (Sue), Hazelnut caramel thingies enrobed in chocolate (Michelle) and parmesan and cayenne shortbread (Me). Yes. Savoury. GET OUTTA HERE. I have to make mention of Michelle's adorable habit of saying that something chocolate covered is "enrobed" - making the treat sound like it's biblical and well dressed.
I made several other things and in the interest of pure laziness and also getting this blog posted I will simply chat glibly about each one and add a photo. If you really really want the recipe I'll pass it on.
Chocolate Caramel Tarts
*Modestly points out - this was my first real foray into sweet pastry, and whilst I made a few minor errors it tasted pretty good.
I made these tarts for Christmas day which was celebrated with friends. Friends. Why do we do it with family? Turns out it's much more fun with friends. (Dear family, I'm joking, I like all of you very well and I like seeing you at Christmas).
The weather was lovely and the food was great and the company was awesome and Shannon did a very funny and graphical demonstration of the various types of penile piercings available using a chipolata.
Back to the tarts: These were yummy and unbelievably rich - so I recommend that you add a small sprinkle of salt to the caramel, it will help to define the flavour and also cut the fattiness. That is an actual real cooking tip from me to you.
Chocolate layer cake
I missed my brothers birthday. In my defence it's on the 29th of December and I was thinking about a bunch of other things and had just made it through Christmas. Still. I forgot. So I gaily promised him a cake. And he politely accepted and asked for ganache. Lots of ganache.
For my own fun I decided to make toffee pecans and stick them to the top. I was very excited by the whole idea of transforming anything into a "toffee something". Not sure that pecans were the right choice, they were tasty but not mind-blowingly delicious. When I go to the trouble of toffee-ing something I want my brains literally blown out of my skull.
Also the cake was a bit dry. But there was lots of ganache - SOOOOOO much ganache. You're welcome Daniel. Happy Birthday.
What actually won the day was a chicken and leek terrine that I had made for fun the same day.
That terrine really was delicious. Brains everywhere.
I didn't take a picture of it because it was a savoury thing and I have made a pledge to only blog about sweet things, seems a bit strange now, what's my problem with savoury food?
It looked a lot like this:
Recipe is here: http://recipes.coles.com.au/recipes/2679/leek-and-chicken-terrine/ - you should actually make it - it's excellent.
Sausage rolls and Vegetable slice
I opened the door and now and I putting a wedge under it and walking firmly through. More savoury. In my ongoing search for things that both adults and children will eat, which are not spaghetti bolognaise, I have been baking a few new things. Or variations on old things.
Good old sausage rolls - these are quasi good for you, but they DO have zucchini and carrot in them - so that makes them partially health food.
They are delicious, and freezable. And delicious. Slightly finicky to make, in that there are some shenanigans with pastry - but get through your dislike of shenanigans and just buy it.
Here also is a vegie slice that my child loves -
Lots of eggs, zucchini, carrot, corn, onion and cheese. With four rashers of bacon. Gabe loves it.
I will try and write a more gratifying post soon, containing less food and more actual banal wittering. :)
 |
| Woohoo! Legs in the air. Not tarty at all. |
We made fudge (Sue), Hazelnut caramel thingies enrobed in chocolate (Michelle) and parmesan and cayenne shortbread (Me). Yes. Savoury. GET OUTTA HERE. I have to make mention of Michelle's adorable habit of saying that something chocolate covered is "enrobed" - making the treat sound like it's biblical and well dressed.
 |
| Gettin' enrobed. |
Chocolate Caramel Tarts
*Modestly points out - this was my first real foray into sweet pastry, and whilst I made a few minor errors it tasted pretty good.
 |
| Single tart |
 |
| Many tarts |
I made these tarts for Christmas day which was celebrated with friends. Friends. Why do we do it with family? Turns out it's much more fun with friends. (Dear family, I'm joking, I like all of you very well and I like seeing you at Christmas).
The weather was lovely and the food was great and the company was awesome and Shannon did a very funny and graphical demonstration of the various types of penile piercings available using a chipolata.
Back to the tarts: These were yummy and unbelievably rich - so I recommend that you add a small sprinkle of salt to the caramel, it will help to define the flavour and also cut the fattiness. That is an actual real cooking tip from me to you.
Chocolate layer cake
I missed my brothers birthday. In my defence it's on the 29th of December and I was thinking about a bunch of other things and had just made it through Christmas. Still. I forgot. So I gaily promised him a cake. And he politely accepted and asked for ganache. Lots of ganache.
 |
| Adequate. |
Also the cake was a bit dry. But there was lots of ganache - SOOOOOO much ganache. You're welcome Daniel. Happy Birthday.
What actually won the day was a chicken and leek terrine that I had made for fun the same day.
That terrine really was delicious. Brains everywhere.
I didn't take a picture of it because it was a savoury thing and I have made a pledge to only blog about sweet things, seems a bit strange now, what's my problem with savoury food?
It looked a lot like this:
 |
| Bliss... |
Sausage rolls and Vegetable slice
I opened the door and now and I putting a wedge under it and walking firmly through. More savoury. In my ongoing search for things that both adults and children will eat, which are not spaghetti bolognaise, I have been baking a few new things. Or variations on old things.
Good old sausage rolls - these are quasi good for you, but they DO have zucchini and carrot in them - so that makes them partially health food.
 |
| Open sesame! |
Here also is a vegie slice that my child loves -
 |
| Springy! |
I will try and write a more gratifying post soon, containing less food and more actual banal wittering. :)
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