Lemony

Gawd, I have started this post twice now with very good intentions each time. Turns out that good intentions are not enough - apparently you need to sit down and actually do it. First thing to observe, I am writing this from my new Macbook Air. I have never been a Mac user, I have nothing against Apple beyond a vague sense of disquiet at learning a new operating system and their super quiet keyboard. I really love to make a racket when I type.

Two things:
No End key
No back space.

How do Apple users do it! I use the end key ALL THE TIME! I like to cut to the end. I like to move from the here and now and get to the full stop. I am lingering a hell of a lot more in the middle of sentences. And what a crappy place to be!  So yeah, if you have the answer. Tell me.

Sooooooo - in the interests of full disclosure and also because I simply tend to talk about what is happening right now - I found a parasite on my head. Was it a louse? Well it was certainly a cad.. *weak laugh. Yes, a louse. Turns out we were "lous-y" with them. That's all. I promise.

In my defence: I am super clean! You could eat your dinner off me, and you're welcome to, just call and book - I am open to eat dinner off from 7pm to 11pm Tues to Sat.

Super clean with a louse. Anyway I got rid of it, or them, or it. How? I suffocated it to death with poison. And then I did the same to my child's head and my husband's. What a goddamn hassle lice are. I know that this is a food blog, but they have been on my mind - or head - and I had to get it off my chest - or head.

I have made heaps of things since I last blogged - so much food. It is actually hard to know where to start.

So here's a dot point list

• Cheesecake
• Brownies
• Banana bread
• Lemon slice
• Chocolate Log

To name a few. Can't remember the rest, I can just sit around all day remembering things that I've cooked. The vast majority of these are from the BOOK. The one that I am cooking.

Except the Lemon slice - I made that one from a recipe provided by the doyenne of cakes at my school. We had a big event and because I like to exhaust myself and and over commit I decided that organising the logistics wasn't enough and I was going to bake too.

The slice looked great! It was gluten free, because why? Just because. People who have gluten intolerance's like lemon too. Also it had no eggs. For those of you that can't eat them either. Wish I had that recipe. I put it in that filing cabinet next to the regular rubbish.

Basically, that's it.

 Let me see if I can recreate it from memory.

Lemon slice
(No oven required)

1 x 250 gram packet of gluten free biscuits - like Arrowroot or Marie. Smushed finely.
1/2 tin of condensed milk
115 grams of butter melted
1 and a half cups of dessicated coconut
The juice and finely grated rind of one lemon.

More lemon juice and some icing sugar for icing. And yellow colour, for fun!

The recipe was exceedingly relaxed, it gave you guidelines and, like a good parent, let you make your own mistakes. So I'll do that too.

Grease a slice tin. Good luck figuring out the size.

Basically mix all the ingredients together and then press it into a tin. I mixed the butter, condensed milk and coconut with the biscuits first so that I wouldn't have any curdling issues with the lemon. Lemon is a great flavour, it can lift virtually anything, but it curdles. That's the deal.

Lemon brings to mind a story of myself and my dear compadre Stacey, trekking through the Indian desert on camels. I do not recommend this. If anyone says "Would you like to trek on camels for four days in the desert" the correct response is "No thank you". It is uncomfortable, and one bit of desert is much like the next bit. See it from an airplane, at a distance where it remains picturesque and theoretical. Anyhoo, there we were, sore-bottomed as could be and facing three more days. On the  first day the group had all showed each other what we brought with us. Various survival tools, if you will. For most it was chocolate and biscuits and water etc. For Damien, the Frenchie, it was lemons. How we laughed at that stupid French guy, how we laughed and laughed.

This is what you get if you google lemon and desert together. This snake.

Turns out the French know a thing or two about food. On the second day we all realised simultaneously that were were gong to be eating the same chapati's with sand and the same vege curry with sand for the whole trip. Suddenly, very suddenly, the lemons became very important. A squeeze of lemon, you see, makes something inedible, edible - like a chapati made with flour, water and (unavoidably) sand. Damien became very popular. And he saved all our tastebuds.

Exceedingly cool.

So yes. Add the lemon juice and the rind and stir and stir - it will be a big sticky mix. Press it into the tin and refrigerate for about an hour. Then ice it. Anyway you like. I decided to make the icing bright, artificial yellow. With a varying degrees of success.

That's the slice. It is delicious and a winner at school fete's.

Could not have said it better myself.