Imperialist Tidbits - or Cooking at Christmastime 2012

Yikes, has it been that long since I posted? What the hell do I do with the my time, apart from you know, all the damn stuff that we fill every waking minute with. I don't know how effervescent and amusing this post with be, because my husband hit me in the head with a large porcelain salad bowl and I have been feeling really calm and loose ever since - along with craving pepperoni. He didn't mean to, it was one of those unfortunate "head meets bowl" timing incidents - he felt very bad. Not as bad as me though because I sustained a big ole hematoma to the forehead. Like a stubby unicorn. Anyway, it is going down and whilst being tender to the touch is not a florid colour - sadly.

Sue, Michelle and I did that thing that we do, it's a tradition. You may recall that I blogged about it last Christmas too, and referred to it as a tradition then as well. I'm not going to say tradition next year, as I feel like this might be labouring the point. Anyway, this is the third year.

Sue and Michelle - at the start.

Firstly, why is it always 37 Celsius when we want to make Christmas treats? There are very few delicious little sweets that last well in that kind of warmth. This was one of the first truly hot days that we had experienced and, much like the previous year, it informed our cooking choices. We had started talking grandly of chocolate and truffles and chocolate... but soon tempered our ideas to a more realistic fudge, salted caramel and spiced nuts. We still had an earnest email conversation about the fudge. Or rather I had one with Michelle and then Sue with Michelle because my email was commandeered by some spamming asshole and so it is now "untrusted". Thanks spamming asshole.

I'm not putting the recipes up, each of our Christmas things worked - although not in the expected manner. The salted caramel took a disconcertingly long time to be ready. Michelle is just so damn gung ho! I put this down to her Swiss father and and the fact that both her parents are chef's. Michelle looks at the colour of the caramel and says "No! cook it longer!". I said, in a small voice, "but it's been on for the appropriate length of time..". I was overruled - good thing too, because I'm sure that it would have set otherwise..

Butter and sugar etc

Salted caramel! What the!

How that, on the left became that on the right, is some sort of Christmas miracle and I wouldn't be surprised if an Angel was involved, or a fairy, or even some sort of lesser cooking demon. By gum it was good though, I ate it all! Well nearly all, I had to give some to Gabe.

To give you the brodies notes, we cooked the hell out of it and waited till it was a "caramelly colour" and then took it off the heat and then put it back on (yes) and then took it off and eventually gave it a rest in the fridge. Sliced like a dream. Like a salty, sweet, soft yet firm dream. Oh God I want some now.

Sue made the fudge and Michelle made divine spiced nuts. All excellent. 

Here is the nuts recipe in totality: I put it here because they really were unbelievably good - I would include the fudge too, but I don't know Sue's secret recipe.. curse her.

Spiced Nuts! 

Mixed up, but not crazy!

40g unsalted butter
60ml extra virgin olive oil
400g large blanched almonds (we used mixed nuts)
3 large cloves garlic, bruised with the back of a knife
3-4 tbsp sea salt
2 tsp caster sugar
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp sweet paprika
pinch cayenne pepper

Melt butter and olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat. Add almonds and garlic and stir constantly for 4-5 minutes or until golden brown.

Drain on paper towels, discard garlic and place almonds in a bowl.

Place salt in a mortar and pestle and grind to a powder.

Add sugar and remaining spices and mix well. Combine almonds and spices and toss together. Spread on a tray to cool before serving.

Then pop them in a dear little bag.

I just have to finish this post. Talking about Christmas treats when it is virtually February is beyond poor blogging timing. But I will take the opportunity to include this:

Gingerbread Cottage!

We made this, Gabe and Fab and I. Full disclosure: it's a kit home. Meaning that it came with the gingerbread already made and all the candy elements in bags. We erected it and decorated and I did the piping, and for someone that lives in the Southern hemisphere who has NEVER seen actual snow on an actual lintel I think that I did a pretty good job.

We took it to a group event where it lasted 15 seconds. That even might be too generous.